MODEST MAMA

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Friday, March 25, 2011

Playing the Waiting Game

We are all going from one foot to the other around here waiting on a baby. I tend to deliver earlier than my due date, except for that one time that I was nine days late. Due to this we don't know what to expect and it is all very... humbling.

Every night I crawl into bed thinking about the possibility of having a baby by morning. Every morning I get up thinking about spending that night in a hospital room. My labors tend to be fast and I know that in the course of the day we could go from a family of six to a family of seven.

Then there is all the anxiety involved with this kind of thing. Will I be able to handle this pain once again? I never would have believed that someone could survive pain so intense. Will we make it to the hospital since once we didn't? Will the baby be healthy at birth since more than once they weren't? Will the children be okay without me here to help guide their day? Thankfully they have always been okay under this circumstance.

After all the anxiety-provoking unknowns there are the fun questions. Boy or girl? How big? Dark like the boys, or light like Margie? And what name will we choose?

My friend exclaimed yesterday that soon I will be holding a baby. Pretty much constantly. And as my heart and arms ached for this little person that we have not yet met, and that will change our lives in ways that we can not begin to imagine, I realized how truly blessed I am as a woman and a mother. I have what some women kill for. Not only once, but five times over. All of my prayers and dreams have come true without me even fully realizing that these little people in my life are what I have been wishing for all along.

1 comment:

Katherine T. Lauer said...

Oh! Your post made me cry! Yes, you are such a blessed woman. And coming so recently from being in your shoes, I absolutely understand about all those uncertainties and questions. Something about this third labor of mine (which I know you've already come to understand) is how there is an element of my being comfident and competent about labor, having done it before well, but there are unexpected outcomes. I cannot count on any particular outcome. I can only count on God to be there. I was a bit overconfident about how this latest labor would be.

I'm so excited about when you have this latest blessing from God!